Monday, July 12, 2010

First day to the rest of...wait what this weekend

"If I didn’t like smoking so much I very well could end our fiery relationship now. But I actually enjoy smoking. I’m hopelessly addicted now." My feeling the day before. my straight up crazy feelings about smoking. don't get me wrong I still love smoking and I am always going to. The smooth inhale of that first cigarette in the morning, normally after a small breakfast and that fresh steaming hot cup of coffee. Oh yeah, sounds great doesn't it. (Unless your not a smoker then it might sounds rather blah). Good lord do I really not want to not smoke any more I mean it's just so good and smooth and my main source of a stress reliever.

(slaps hand) No I can do this, I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!! I CAN SO DO THIS ....this time. Yes I have tried my half ass before to not not not smoke. Failed normally by the end of the first week. I got this blog to help me through it. I hope. I really think that this time I can do this. I CAN DO THIS! I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN!

10:26 a.m.

Today I am planing on finishing my pack of smokes and not smoking any more. It’ll be a tough go mainly because there is people that I work with who smoke and I don’t know that I can just give up like that. I don’t know that I can do it. Well have to see.

Already had two smokes, two more in the pack to go.

However with that aside, I didn’t get much sleep and that is fail. I had maybe 3-4 hours of sleep. I was being rather slow and thought that I would stay up and tweet (about True Blood and talk with my Muse who is all adoring) with the twitter loves that I care for (and play Evony). It was in good fun only now I am paying the price, well later I well be as of right now I am just loving being at work, and doing what it is that I like doing (for now) making flyers and posters for the upcoming events that are within our organization.

2:19 p.m.

So far not doing so bad. This not smoking thing is slowly working out for me. In a way. {Index and middle finger on the right hand ::: shut up its only been one day not even relax.}

4:30 p.m.

Had hopefully my last smoke, I’m just going to have to see how long that is going to be going on. I still have tomorrow to see if I can pass this test.

I actually think that I can pull this off. Not to have to much I don’t know what...confidence or I might jinx it. I’m going to say that it is going to be a very hard run of it. Even more so since I told myself no more coffee. Just green tea and water. My thinking is that green tea is going to give me just what I need and more. Cause we all know how great it really is. Super.

Alright its 8:2something p.m. And I am starting to want that smoke. I just finished a bad movie and well I always have a smoke after a movie, its just something that I do. I’m still not sure how it happened or why I started doing that. Whatever now so my solution for right now is work on getting my feelings down and have a glass of water and make myself some green tea.

I just know if I can make it to next week I can do this...oh dear gahd I forgot about the Scottish festival this Saturday, the beer tent. That is going to be my real test, drinking and parade and smoking ... No smoking I mean. Well I am not going to think about it now I am just going to take baby steps and just not worry about it. Yes that sounds like a very good idea.

Maybe I should work on my breathing and get some yoga moves on. Yes thats what I am going to do.


No comments:

Post a Comment